Love Fader.

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.

Tom: Knew what?

Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

Yes... Quoted from (500) Days Of Summer between Summer and Tom, which reminds me of you, misery and love.

The 'never sure' part is kinda bumps me out of my mind.

What makes me worried, insecure and never got the feeling 'comfortably comfort' is only when i'm with you, love.

I surely knows that he might be the best for the last.

He got all the moves and he seems to be the safest and the chosen one.

BUT deep deep deep down in my unconscious mind, i was never sure of with him. In other words, he's not the one that i wanna be with for the rest of my life.

And that's when i know that love can truly fade.

... just like that.

... Three days left.

and still my heart doesn't feel like racing up and down.

The excitement didn't excite me that much.

My mind of the future is totally blurred out with thousands question mark.

I wish I'm not afraid of whatever future awaits.

I hope i could cry my worried heart out loud so i won't be this senseless and careless.

I wanna be stronger, not weaker.

Talking about stronger and weaker, it reminds me of you, love.

and how easy you fadin' away from my heart.

... in between.

There was a saying that "life after college sucks" and somehow it is true. After finished college, i thought i can figured all out and live my after-college life the way i like, but the truth always speaks different and louder than i was expected before. Family decision took the biggest part in my future life, and i got caught up between them and my own dream. somehow in the middle of their conspiracy against me, i ended up with Xiamen, China. Well, that's all i can get in order to speak my mind up to them, China is not my destination, but it'll be my stepping stone for someplace better. And i believes that God has designed the best future for me. I'll take everything they offer me as long as i still can spread my wings and learn how to fly. yep, stop talking blah, and these pictures above are... well, plastics.

... was lost without you.

... i was really lost back then, and i didn't manage to put things up together. it was like the moments of failure. but then, i was in the moment when everything seems to against me, i got all the toughness combine together with toughness. i thought i'll be damned without you, but after all, here i am. standing on my messy life, alone. i surely lost without you but still can manage live my life without you.

so yeah, independence day, me rotten on my super crazy messy room. i hate days like these. my bad moods keep come and go like every 5 second. btw, i love this flowery harem pants so friggin' much!

lace+flower=perfection.

bitchen up.

 

whatsofuckinever

and lately people around me act like an ass. i hate those people who keeps ruining my mood. why on earth do i have to care anyway? PLEASE REMIND ME AGAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE BECOME A BITCH!